On Saturday, my husband and I will celebrate twenty-two years of marriage. September 3, 1994 represented a “happy ending” for me. My happy ending became a reality because I chose to change my mindset and actions. So what changed?
I recognized that I had been waiting for Prince Charming to come and sweep me off my feet. After all, that is what happened in the fairy tales. And because of that expectation, I was leaving my happy ending to someone else. Most of my time had been spent trying to convince men I met that “I was the one for them”, only to realize after a period of time “they were not for me.”
First mindset change, achieving my dream was up to me. I get to choose.
But who was best for me? I didn’t really know. It became clear to me that defining “my best lifetime partner” was my first priority. After all how would I know who to look for or better yet, if he appeared, I might not even recognize him. This led me to create my Best Lifetime Partner Profile (BLPP), which equipped me with the criteria I needed to identify him. Now to find him meant getting outside of my home and office; going to events and activities that a man fitting my profile might be attending.
Using my profile, I started telling my friends, co-workers, college classmates, family members about “my best lifetime partner” so that they could be on the lookout for me. This led me to my next discovery, don’t listen to others who tell you it can’t happen. Some people began to tell me “Your criteria is too high.” “You won’t ever meet a man that fits your profile. He doesn’t exist.” “Don’t you know there is a shortage of good men.”
I chose to not let others place limitations on my dream. I chose to believe in my dream.
Recognizing that there would be competition, before stepping out, I needed to “stand out.” Attracting him would require me to stay focused on my appearance, self-esteem, and attitude. At each event or activity that I attended, I made sure I was “at my b.e.s.t.” One evening while attending a professional conference, I stepped off the elevator and standing before me were two men warmly greeting attendees as they entered the reception. One in particular, smiled and asked if it was my first time at the conference. Using my BLPP, I began observing and listening to him as we talked. He met my initial criteria. After dinner, the music began playing and there he was asking me to dance, guiding me across the dance floor. I was having fun! I hated to see the evening come to an end (much like a princess who had found her prince). It meant we would be going our separate ways. I returned to Philadelphia, PA and he returned to Columbus, OH.
Shortly after returning home, a beautiful card from Ohio arrived in the mail. Now I was faced with an important decision, “Was I willing to do what was necessary to be with my best lifetime partner?” The answer was “YES.” Whenever I could, I traveled to Columbus. I even made arrangements for side trips when on business trips within the Mid-West Region. He also changed his schedule and traveled to Philadelphia and attended events that were important to me. I didn’t let distance get in the way. On Christmas Eve, as I opened my presents, I found a beautiful diamond and my “best lifetime partner” was asking me to marry him.
Making your dream a reality requires being committed to doing what is necessary.
Saturday, I look forward to celebrating our anniversary which always includes dancing to At Last!
If you have a dream, remember to…
- Choose to go after your dream
- Get clarity
- Don’t let others limit you
- Believe in your dream
- Commit to doing what is necessary