February is love month for me!
It’s always a reminder of my mother, Herlean. For many years, in my quest to find my soul mate, it was my mother to whom I turned to for advice. She freely provided direction, often in a colorful, vivid manner, which made the advice memorable. Here are some examples of Herlean’s pearls of wisdom.
Me: My boyfriend has stopped calling me. I have called him but he has not responded. I miss our time together and don’t know what happened. Should I continue to call? What should I do?
Herlean: Be Like a faucet. Turn on when he is on and remember to turn off when he is off. Seems like your boyfriend is off. It’s time for you to be off!
Me: It’s Valentine’s Day and my boyfriend didn’t give me chocolates. He knows how much I love chocolate candy. I called my mother crying, “I can’t believe it!”
Herlean: Did you tell him you wanted chocolate candy for Valentine’s Day?
Me: No. I didn’t think I needed to because everyone who knows me, know I love chocolate.
Herlean: Well, before you can get upset that you didn’t get what you wanted, you need to remember to first make sure you make your request known. And by the way, make sure, your request is explicit. If there is a certain type of chocolate you like, then you need to specify that as well. Otherwise, you will be calling me again upset that you got chocolate candy but nor your favorite kind.
Me: I just met a guy who is a vegetarian. You know how much I love seafood. Do I have to give up my shrimp and crabs for him?
Herlean: If you want to keep him, you need to make sure he gets what he likes to eat at your house. Otherwise, he will have to go somewhere else to get it. I would serve him what he likes and prepare the foods I like for myself. Who says you both have to eat the same foods at the same time. Just make sure you eat together at the same time!
Me: (The weekend before my wedding) You and dad were happily married forty-six years before he passed. What advice can you give me to make my marriage strong?
Herlean: First, you need to remember that you set the tone for the day. So when your husband awakes, make sure he is awakening to a spouse who is positive, happy, kind, and focused on him. When he returns home at the end of the day, make sure you are still at your best. Over the long haul, don’t fall into a routine, shake things up, make being with you interesting and exciting- a place he will always want to return- no matter what.
While I miss having the opportunity to call my mother today and get her advice, I am blessed that she left me with many pearls of wisdom that I still rely on today. Here’s hoping that you will find some of them useful to you as well. Remember, LOVE is action. Show someone today that you love them. Love is the BEST gift!